Mother, I insist you get a cleaner,
Your bungalow will soon be smelling musty
How often do you hoover or sterilise the loo?
And your ornaments are starting to get dusty
Mother, I insist you see a doctor.
Something should be done about your hearing.
I must shout to make you hear above the television’s blare
And the decibels are almost beyond bearing.
Mother, I insist you get a bus pass.
Your driving expertise is below par
You grind when you change gear and meander when you steer
It’s high time you were finished with your car.
Mother, I insist you join a gym club
Your muscle tone is in an unfit state .
You will get a hunched-up back and your pelvic floor will slacken
Till incontinence becomes your final fate.
Mother, I insist you get a mobile,
To call for help if ever you are stuck …
“Help! I’m stuck with a dominating daughter!”
“That’s not funny, Mother.”